Depression and Anxiety is Real … Break the Pattern !!
My dear friend,
I am not going to tell you all about depression and anxiety on this page, because if you are reading this, you are most likely to suffer from this dreadful decease or know of somebody who is. I am so glad that your inner GPS guided you to this page.
I suffered from depression and anxiety for almost 22 years to a point that I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Proliferative Retinopathy. This is when sight loss occur quickly. This is the advanced stage of the disease. Additional new blood vessels will begin to grow in the retina, but they will be fragile and abnormal, causing blurred vision, severe sight loss or blindness.
I was always the “happy” person, who made everybody laugh, always willing to help, and because of my creativity for example as an interior designer, dressmaker, artist nobody really knew that I was just a great pretender… like the song goes, “O yah, I am the great pretender, pretending that I’m doing well..” Meanwhile I am slowly but surely loosing my grip on life and feeling like an empty shell and no one can tell.
The last 3 years that I was battling with depression was the worse, I barely functioned, I was blind, stuck at home, depended on everybody for assistance to drive me around and do day-to day tasks.
My son had to drive me to my customers, to continue with my Retail Business, he did the shopping for me and for somebody that was always the “strong, confident, independent” one, it really took its toll on me mentally, physically and emotionally – up to breaking point.
It was really a God send that I found my Life Coach that day, I was at my lowest point but that was my turning point. I made an appointment for the 30 minute free session, my son drove me all the way to Pretoria to meet with her, and she became my instant life line. She did not judge me, did not make stupid remarks or a matter of fact comments, she listened to me. It was as if she can see through my broken soul. We started my sessions the following week. That was the highlight of my week, to go and see her. Every week slowly but surely we worked on everything that was causing my depression, that included my self-doubt, all my stories about things, all the baggage, the limiting believes my fears.
She knew that we must take it day by day, week by week otherwise it will just overwhelm me, but every week she equipped me with new tools, strategies, techniques to change the course of my life. I became a better human being, I started to process things differently, if something does not serve me I reject it. I have a new set of rules that I live by, I take better care of myself, take time for myself and then I look after the rest. I completed my sessions that September and I knew and realized that I did not go through all of this for nothing. I have learned hard lessons went through devastating events, but I was still here, I realized that I was the strongest person I know.
That December, I attended the Life Transformation Coaching Course, my coach was also there to assist with practical exercises that we had to do, I was so exited because my eye-sight improved and I was able to drive myself around again. So just to give you the time frame again, I started late August at rock bottom, did my personal course, completed my coaching course in December and was an accredited coach by March – a total transformation within 7 months.
You might ask, do you feel depressed some days, yes and no, I acknowledge the feeling but I don’t grow feeling towards it, I just let it go and focus on what really matters. Since then, sad things did happen, I will be lying if everything was just great, BUT with the knowledge I have now, I work through it, I process it differently and I don’t attach myself to events, comments and other people’s perceptions or opinions.
I don’t know you yet, and would love to meet you, but if I don’t, I want to let you know that there is always hope, there is always a way, don’t give up on your life or your dreams. Find someone, talk to someone – depression is a very lonely world and you can get lost, but keep going.
Pick up your head, pull back your shoulders you are worthy, you are beautiful, you are stronger than you think.
All my love,